Everyone feels lonely at some point in their lives, but the convergence of winter and coronavirus means chronic loneliness and isolation are affecting more people than ever. In fact, in 2019 – well before coronavirus hit -- University of Chicago released a study showing loneliness is an epidemic[1].

 

Dr. Stephanie Cacioppo, a University of Chicago assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience, was quoted addressing the prevalence of loneliness:  “One in three people in America is affected by loneliness, and one in 12 is affected severely. The effects of loneliness can't really be tied to physical characteristics of lonely people. Rather, they are due to the effects of loneliness on everyday people.[2]”

 

What is chronic loneliness?

 

Long-term, or chronic, loneliness happens when periods of social isolation continue for long time frames. Loneliness can come from social isolation or from feeling isolated within a relationship. Many people believe that if you are in a relationship or married, loneliness doesn’t affect you anymore, but that’s simply not true.

 

A 2018 national survey by Cigna reported that forty percent of survey participants said they sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they feel isolated[3].   

 

The Pew Research center conducted a survey that showed about 28% of participants are dissatisfied with their family life and feel lonely all or most of the time. Only 7% of participants said they were satisfied with their family life[4]. Additionally, 26% of participants are dissatisfied with their social life compared to 5% who are satisfied[5].

 

What causes loneliness?

 

Studies have found that chronic loneliness can be associated with a few different factors, including[6]:

 

• Not knowing many neighbors or feeling connected to the community
• Poor personal finances making it difficult to lead the kind of life people want
• Having an annual income of less than $30,000
• Being divorced or single

 

Loneliness signs and symptoms

 

Loneliness will manifest itself differently in every individual.

 

Some of the side-effects of chronic or long-term loneliness include[7]:

• Irritability
• Acting self-centered
• Depression
• Cardiovascular disease
• Poor quality of sleep
• Increased inflammation
• Substance abuse

 

Loneliness is caused by not having the opportunity or ability to connect with others on a deeper level and share thoughts and feelings that go beyond small talk.

 

The good news is that loneliness is almost always reversable with the proper understanding of what loneliness is and how it affects you.

 

How to combat loneliness

 

It’s not always easy to fight back against loneliness because different people are lonely for different reasons. According to the American Psychological Association, “interventions that focus inward and address negative thoughts underlying loneliness in the first place can help combat loneliness more than those designed to improve social skills, enhance social support or increase opportunities for social interaction.[8]”

 

As the pandemic continues around the world, more thought is being put into how to combat loneliness while not being able to safely socialize.

 

Here are some ideas:

 

Reach out to others

The New York Times published an article providing some tips on how to survive pandemic loneliness and isolation. Included in their tips are to reach out to friends whether through calling, texting, or dropping off a gift[9]. Take the first step to reach out to a friend you haven’t seen in awhile, and set up some time to connect, whether over the phone or in person as the pandemic permits.

 

Perform random acts of kindness

Another strategy is to think of others instead of yourself and help those in need. Performing random acts of kindness such as delivering groceries or helping to clean up a park can make a big difference. Find an organization you care about and volunteer virtually or in person.  Many children are seeking online tutors, for example.  The New York Times reported that “loneliness rates dropped from 10 percent of people to 5 percent in people who did kind acts.[10]” 

 

Engage in virtual communication

While there aren’t studies showing how communicating virtually can affect a person’s feelings of loneliness, a Zoom call or phone call can often be effective. However, studies show that social media or texting doesn’t have the same effect[11].  If you do choose to be online, take an active instead of a passive role.  Rather than scrolling through social media or reading everyone else’s comments on a forum, take the time to share some empathy or advice in that forum or play an online game with a friend.¹²

 

Work on your inner thoughts

As we mentioned above, the American Psychological Association suggests interventions that focus inward and combat negative thoughts. First and foremost, practice self-kindness and try to downplay the negative self-talk. Actively do something you enjoy, like walking in nature or getting in a round of golf. Focus on the present moment, and when you feel happy or content, take the time to savor that feeling and share it with a friend.  Take the focus off of yourself and try to focus more on other people.  For example, instead of feeling sad because everyone else seems to be getting the things you want (and posting about it on social media) focus on the things you can give, like your time to a charity. Try to downplay any negative thoughts you may have, as you ruminate about the reasons why you are lonely, and instead do something to actively connect.¹²

 

Loneliness was an epidemic in America long before coronavirus hit. During 2020, the epidemic continued to get worse as people were forced to socially isolate. There is no quick fix for loneliness, but understanding what causes it, how it effects both your mental and physical health and putting some effort into finding ways to combat it can go a long way towards making 2021 an easier and less isolating year.

 

Read more in our series of Committing to Growth During the Pandemic:

 

Financial Stress and COVID

Committed to Growth During the Pandemic: Become an Expert at Working from Home

10 of the Biggest Mistakes People Make when Getting (back) into Working Out

Committing to Growth During the Pandemic: Building Resilience

Growing in Adversity: Reaching and Serving Customers in the New Normal

Committing to Growth During the Pandemic: Eating Smarter to Reduce Cancer Risk

 

References:

 

1,2,7 Carlton, K. (2019, February 13). What is loneliness? Retrieved March 09, 2021, from https://www.uchicagomedicine.org/forefront/health-and-wellness-articles/what-is-loneliness

3- Loneliness at epidemic levels In America. (n.d.). Retrieved March 09, 2021, from https://www.cigna.com/about-us/newsroom/studies-and-reports/loneliness-epidemic-america

4,5,6- Bialik, K. (2020, May 30). Americans unhappy with family, social or financial life are more likely to say they feel lonely. Retrieved March 09, 2021, from https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/12/03/americans-unhappy-with-family-social-or-financial-life-are-more-likely-to-say-they-feel-lonely/

8-The risks of social isolation. (n.d.). Retrieved March 09, 2021, from https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/05/ce-corner-isolation

9,10, 11-Sohn, E. (2020, December 18). Combating an epidemic of loneliness. Retrieved March 09, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/18/well/pandemic-loneliness-isolation-coronavirus.html

12- Davis, T. (2019, February 18). Feeling lonely? Discover 18 ways to overcome loneliness. Retrieved March 09, 2021, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201902/feeling-lonely-discover-18-ways-overcome-loneliness

 

 

[1] https://www.uchicagomedicine.org/forefront/health-and-wellness-articles/what-is-loneliness

[2] https://www.uchicagomedicine.org/forefront/health-and-wellness-articles/what-is-loneliness

[3] https://www.cigna.com/about-us/newsroom/studies-and-reports/loneliness-epidemic-america

[4] https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/12/03/americans-unhappy-with-family-social-or-financial-life-are-more-likely-to-say-they-feel-lonely/

[5] https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/12/03/americans-unhappy-with-family-social-or-financial-life-are-more-likely-to-say-they-feel-lonely/

[6] https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/12/03/americans-unhappy-with-family-social-or-financial-life-are-more-likely-to-say-they-feel-lonely/

[7] https://www.uchicagomedicine.org/forefront/health-and-wellness-articles/what-is-loneliness

[8] https://www.apa.org/monitor/2019/05/ce-corner-isolation

[9] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/18/well/pandemic-loneliness-isolation-coronavirus.html

[10] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/18/well/pandemic-loneliness-isolation-coronavirus.html

[11] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/18/well/pandemic-loneliness-isolation-coronavirus.html

12-https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201902/feeling-lonely-discover-18-ways-overcome-loneliness